You know those days when you want to quit. When things just get so hard, that you start to wonder if it’s worth the heart. Is it worth risking all of this time and emotion if there is a possibility of just getting heartbroken in the end? Doubt can consume us and cause us to either give up, or just go through the motions.
On the field Saturday, we lost two games to a team we are equally matched with. After the games, we were told that we didn’t want it, and that after the other team got a big hit, it’s like we were waiting to lose. Well, unfortunately, my coach was right. But when someone tells you that you don’t have enough passion, enough heart or enough ability… it hurts.
I come from a program that traditionally gets last in the Big 12, losing is what we are “supposed” to do. Last year, when we had a chance at going to Regional’s, I put my heart on the line and was crushed. At the end of the year when we didn’t make it, I didn’t know how to react.
On Saturday I found myself saying on the field, well, maybe if we don’t go to Regional’s it’s not that big of a deal. Season will be done a couple weeks early. Maybe I could travel, or spend it with friends…
ARE YOU KIDDING? Can I get a wake up call please? I doubted my team, and myself, and it’s causing me to give up on a dream and go through the motions. But don’t I know how hard we work? How bad we do want it, and how good we can be when everything comes together?
And it’s the same thing with doubt in my own faith that I experienced just the day before after a hard discussion about religion in my Western Civilization class. Maybe Jesus didn’t really rise from the dead, and God doesn’t really exist…
ARE YOU KIDDING? Have I not seen the work He has done in my life, how He carried me from absolute brokenness and darkness into life? What about the joy and the relationships that only come from Him, the supernatural way He speaks through me and through others, and the unbelievable strength He gives me in times of temptation?
Doubting myself, my ability on the field and my confidence, is as flawed as doubting God. We should walk onto that field with confidence, KNOWING that we are going to win and that we are going to play with passion, heart, and intensity.
And I live everyday KNOWING that God is good, that He is love, and that He is in control. And I told myself the next time I step on the field, I will have that kind of confidence, the one that causes you to step up to the plate and hit a ball 500 feet. I will have confidence that we are going to win the game and that we are going to Regional’s.
The second I doubt, everything crumbles. Risking your heart for the sake of something that could not be true is worth it. But guess what, the next day, we rose up to the challenge our coach set and came out and won the third game of the series, making us one step closer to Regional’s. Likewise, you will experience God’s goodness when He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).
If you are experiencing doubt in Jesus being the Son of man, read Isaiah 53, written 700 years before Jesus came to this earth.
If you doubt God’s love, read Romans 8, because nothing can separate us from His amazing love.
If you doubt God’s control, read Jeremiah 29:11, because He has a plan for each and every one of us.
If you doubt yourself, read Psalm 139:13-16, because you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Let’s stop believing lies and start fighting for our King!