How will I be remembered?

There is a lot on my heart today.

I found out that one of my old teammates whom I played softball with for about a year in high school committed suicide.

I always remembered her as a happy person, so clearly, this came to me as quite the shock. The last time I had seen her was in October. She played softball for Johnson County Community College and we played an exhibition game against her team. We were close when we played together at age 16, but really haven’t spoken much since. Nevertheless, things like this stick with you.

You kind of have to wonder, what was going on in her mind before she committed suicide? Did she think about softball, about her teammates? About God?

Upon looking at a Facebook group made in her memory earlier today, while she was remembered for bringing a smile to others, I also noticed several posts or comments about softball. One even recalled her 10-home-run school record at Paola High School. A candle light vigil will even be held at the JCCC softball field tomorrow night.

This is a very hard entry for me to write, but I feel compelled to ask the bold question: How will you be remembered?

If I died tomorrow, without a doubt people would talk about who I was as a softball player. I am sure at my funeral they would mention my awards, but would they say I was a selfless leader, who put my teammates before me?

I don’t want to be remembered only for being 1st Team All-Big 12 or an Academic All-American. I have enjoyed these awards and been honored by them. But eternally, what does that even matter?

Acts 20:24 says, “I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me–the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”

My prayer today is that I am remembered, whether I die tomorrow or I die when I am 100 years old, for my love of Christ Jesus. That He transformed me, and I was knowingly His beloved daughter. That I completed the task the Lord Jesus gave to me. That I testified to the gospel in all areas of my life. That I loved others as He loves, and served as He serves. That above all else, I lived with the conviction of God’s grace.

That I finished the race.

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